This entry is FIVE DAYS LATE! Last Wednesday, 5 April 2012, I wrote:
It's been 13 years since I got married to the love of my life and be it rain or shine - it's just been AWESOME! Today, after all these years, I am truly happy that I am married to a person who allows me to grow- who highlights my mistakes and turns them into opportunities to reinforce a better person within me. I pray that he'll be my definite companion in Jannah, Amin.......
I meant to blog yesterday, the day of my 13th anniversary, but that didn't prevail and I have to say that I have very blurry memory of what happened yesterday (please do not wonder inexcessively!). I cooked dinner (it's been ages since I did!) - sambal sotong, udang and kentang goreng kunyit, bayam rebus.....oooolala! - we ate, we watched '30 minit bersama Ustaz Don', then all I could remember is snoozing the alarm clock silent at 6am, 5 April. I told my hubby that I was convinced that I had unintentionally drugged the whole family!
I remember the day i picked up my baju nikah and the chinese tailor took a look at the calender to see if she was free to attend my wedding. She said, "Owh! Dalam kalender Cina, hari you mau kahwin ialah "Ee-Yat-Fatt" - 2-1-8. Meaning aaa....selalu ada duit". Hah! The sound of 'money', even if only just uttered, it calms the mind. But, soon after, I was taken aback for I was worried that I had placed trust on a set of numbers, in light of my marital state, Astaghfirullah..... May ALLAH forgive me. At present, after all these years, I have come to a point in my life that I submit totally to the notion that trusting ALLAH is the only right thing to do. ALLAH WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. The last 5 years of my life, I may have uttered this many times but comparatively, now, more than ever - I breathe it.
And this, the state of mind in HIS presence, is the ONLY calming state of mind. Ee-Yatt-Fatt is officially the blurry past.